| A few weeks ago my community paper published | | | | is usually administered when the parent is at their |
| a letter to the editor which asked the question, | | | | 'wits end' or the parent(s) is/are in a bad mood |
| "When will society stop domestic violence?"The | | | | about something which sometimes has no |
| answer to the question is surprisingly simple, but | | | | relationship to what the child did creates distrust. |
| difficult for people to accept, because domestic | | | | How can a child continue to trust a parent, who |
| violence is ensconced in the deepest fiber of | | | | has betrayed them? Children trust their parent |
| many families--religion. Many religions teach that | | | | implicitly, but once that trust has been betrayed it |
| 'spare the rod, you spoil the child' or that the Bible, | | | | is seldom regained, because there is no way to |
| specifically the book of Proverbs, commands | | | | achieve reconciliation with a parent/person who |
| spanking.There is a distinction, however, which is | | | | doesn't acknowledge their unacceptable |
| of key interest to fundamentalists, between the | | | | behavior.When will society stop domestic violence? |
| practice in King Solomon's day of beating people | | | | The simple answer is: When society stops |
| on the back for discipline. The latter is not | | | | sanctioning and promoting hitting or spanking |
| prescribed anywhere in the Bible.Furthermore, it | | | | children at home or in school. Twenty-two states |
| needs to be pointed out that the Old Testament | | | | allow corporal punishment with a wooden paddle in |
| contains passages that could be (and in some | | | | schools. Is your state one of the twenty-two? |
| incidents have been) construed as divine | | | | Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas, Colorado, Florida, |
| endorsements of wife-beating, racial warfare, | | | | Georgia, Idaho, Indiana, Kansas, Kentucky, |
| slavery, the stoning to death of rebellious children | | | | Louisiana, Mississippi, Missouri, New Mexico, North |
| and other behaviors that are outrageous by | | | | Carolina, Ohio, Oklahoma, Pennsylvania, South |
| today's standards.If our laws no longer allow these | | | | Carolina, Tennessee, Texas and Wyoming allow |
| Biblical commands, why then do we hit children, | | | | paddling children with a wooden paddle in |
| a.k.a. chastening to supposedly correct | | | | schools.The real question is "When will you stop |
| unacceptable behavior?The answer is not | | | | sanctioning and promoting hitting/spanking of |
| complicated. We cannot conceive this Biblical and | | | | children in your community, your school, your |
| society-sanctioned form of child discipline as abuse | | | | state? As Voltaire pointed out long ago: "We are |
| until we can honestly acknowledge the | | | | not only responsible for what we do, but also for |
| mistreatment from our own childhood | | | | that what we don't do." If you aren't part of the |
| experiences and examine the shortcomings of our | | | | solution, you are part of the problem. Take action |
| own parents.As long as we believe, "I was hit and | | | | to educate yourself and others about this insidious |
| I turned out OK," the practice of violence through | | | | crime against children.1. "Punished for life: Canadian |
| spanking will continue to be perpetuated in the | | | | study links spanking to addiction and psychiatric |
| home with the blessing of religion and a blind eye | | | | disorders," Reuters, 1995-OCT-5. Online at: Harriet |
| from society--unless of course the 'spanking' goes | | | | McMillan, et al., "Slapping and spanking in childhood |
| too far and the child is bloodied and bruised.One | | | | and its association with lifetime prevalence of |
| fundamental commonality among all men and | | | | psychiatric disorders in a general population |
| women in prison is the fact they were all spanked. | | | | sample," Canadian Medical Association Journal, |
| If spanking created compliance to rules of society, | | | | 1999-OCT-5, at: Jane Gadd, "Spanked children |
| then why is this the only commonality among | | | | suffer intellectually," The Globe and Mail, Toronto |
| people who are on the wrong side of the law?Our | | | | ON, 1998-JUL-304. M.A. Straus, Corporal |
| laws and our cultural values are unambiguous | | | | punishment of children and adult depression and |
| concerning adults who hit, attack or verbally | | | | suicidal ideation," Chapter 5 of: "Beating the devil |
| threaten other adults. Such behavior is recognized | | | | out of them: Corporal punishment in American |
| as criminal and we hold them accountable.Why | | | | families and its effects on children," New |
| then when so much is at stake for society, do | | | | Brunswick, (2000), Page 60 to 77. Online at: This is |
| we accept and promote physical assault against | | | | a PDF file. You may require software to read it. |
| children? Then we wonder why there is domestic | | | | Software can be obtained free from: Adobe |
| violence. Adults tend to repeat what they | | | | Acrobat5. P. Greven, "Spare the child: The religious |
| experienced more often than not. The old saying, | | | | roots of physical punishment and the psychological |
| 'The acorn doesn't fall far from the tree' makes | | | | impact of physical abuse," Knopf, (1991)6. Irvin |
| this point. The child accepts the message, "If I | | | | Wolkoff, "Spanked child can become self-loathing |
| don't like something someones says or does, | | | | adult," The Toronto Star, 1999-NOV-26, Page |
| hitting is the acceptable response."As a physical | | | | F4.7. E. Larzelere, "A review of the outcomes of |
| and sexual abuse prevention specialist, I have | | | | parental use of non-abusive or customary physical |
| heard all the rationales why spanking is the only | | | | punishment," Pediatrics 98:824-8318. Patricia |
| form of discipline some children seem to need in | | | | McBroom, "UC Berkeley study finds no lasting |
| order to get the message. All these rationales are | | | | harm among adolescents from moderate |
| biologically faulty, because when a child is hit, his | | | | spanking earlier in childhood," at: Maggie Fox, "Why |
| her brain goes into shock and when the brain is in | | | | some boys go bad: Gene study may show why |
| shock it no longer can assimilate information. Thus | | | | abused turn violent," Reuters News Agency, |
| the message the parent intends to convey is lost. | | | | 2002-AUG-1.10.Michael A. Milburn & Sheree D. |
| Furthermore, hitting is a betrayal of trust and | | | | Conrad, "The Politics of Denial," MIT Press, (1996). |
| engenders anger/rage not compliance.Think about | | | | Read reviews or order this book safely from |
| it, if spanking is the magic solution for correcting | | | | online book store11. Andrew Grogan-Kaylor, "The |
| aberrant behavior, then why doesn't one spanking | | | | effect of corporal punishment on antisocial |
| solve the problem? Why does the child continue | | | | behavior in children," Social Work Research, Vol. |
| to repeat the same unacceptable behavior over | | | | 28, # 3, 2004-SEP, Pages 153-162.12. "U-M study: |
| and over?Again the answer is simple--spanking | | | | Spanking can lead to more bad behavior by |
| doesn't work and children repeat any | | | | children," University of Michigan News Service, |
| behavior--acceptable or unacceptable because | | | | 2004-SEP-08, at: The abstract is online at: You |
| they are in a learning process and they learn by | | | | can also purchase the article from the same |
| repetition.Consistent consequences such as: time | | | | URL.14. Sean Fine, "Study links spanking to future |
| out, grounding, withholding something of | | | | alcohol abuse," The Globe and Mail, Toronto, |
| significance, extra chores teaches critical thinking, | | | | 1999-OCT-5, Pages A1 & A13Dorothy M. |
| problem solving, relationship building and | | | | Neddermeyer, PhD, specializes in verbal, physical |
| understanding how they are the creator of the | | | | and sexual abuse prevention and recovery. |
| consequence.Whereas hitting/spanking because it | | | | |