Explaining child disorders


When Sorrow Is Too Great to Be Borne Alone, Support Groups Reach Out

Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and Iis: a safe place. It may be an AA group for
decided to attend a support group program runthose who struggle with alcohol, an abuse
by the local Hospice organization. We feltgroup for those who have been victimized by
lost, afraid, and alone, and we desperatelyabusers, a group for people addicted to
needed to understand the emotional rollergambling, or a grief group for those who are
coaster we were on.So the night of the firsttrying to survive the loss of a loved one by
support meeting, we drove 30 miles to thedeath.It's a place to go to so you can
church where the meeting was held. The roomconnect with others who have almost walked in
we walked into had a single row of fold-upyour shoes.Some support groups are run by
chairs arranged in a circle, refreshments onprofessionals. They generally have a program
a table, and a friendly woman welcomed us.Weto follow, materials to take home with
had arrived early; all of the seats wereinformation, and they are led by people with
empty. After I glanced at my husband, to makecollege degrees. They sometimes encourage
sure he had not turned around and walked out,people to set goals, and they sometimes offer
we sat down quietly on the seats closest totherapy.Other support groups are lead by
us and to the door.Shortly after we arrived,those who have no official certification, but
a few other people wandered in and took seatswhose experience may teach them more about
also. We nodded at them nervously, wonderingthe common issue than anything they could
if their stories were like ours, wondering ifread about in books.I have participated in
they had nightmares as bad as we did.Andboth types of support groups, and I find
then, the meeting began. The facilitatorvalue in both. They meet different needs in
spoke. She welcomed us all, stated thatdifferent ways.I personally think the value
everyone in the room had lost a loved one,of peer-lead support groups are greatly
and asked us to introduce ourselves.One byundervalued, however. When people sit in a
one, the people present stated their namescircle and share their stories and hearts
and briefly told us about why they werewith others who will not pass judgement on
there. Some of them shed tears as theythem, others who truly do know how they feel,
talked.As each one spoke, my mind was tryinga huge burden is often lifted from their
to take in a situation outside of myshoulders.Lifting that emotional burden seems
experience. How could this be? We thought weto be the key to survival, the key to living
were the only ones in the world who werelife again - as opposed to being pulled down
grieving. We were not alone, after all!Forinto deep depression and not finding the
the next couple hours, we talked - andstrength to come back up.The best thing about
listened. We discovered that some of ourpeer lead support groups is that they are
feelings matched the feelings of othersfree! The worst thing about them is that
there. Perhaps we were not abnormal, afterthere are not enough of them around.Quote of
all!Best of all, though, when we said Arlyn'sthe day:When it seems that our sorrow is too
name, and when we said the word suicide, nogreat to be borne, let us think of the great
one blinked an eye! No one got up and walkedfamily of the heavy-hearted into which our
out, no one replied by saying, Get over it!grief has given us entrance, and inevitably,
She's gone! And no one even hinted that itwe will feel about us their arms, their
was our fault.During the meeting, some of ussympathy, their understanding. - Helen
cried. No one tried to stop us. During theKellerBy Karyl Chastain BealMission in life
meeting, some of us talked about funerals,before Arlyn's death was teaching children.
and no one squirmed. It was amazing.We wereNow, it's teaching those left behind after
the only ones in the group who had comesuicide to survive and live again. It's also
because of the death of a daughter, and weeducating the public about suicide and
were the only ones mourning a suicide death,suicide grief.Beal is a certified
but even then, the connection we felt withthanatologist via the Association on Death
others was strong. We were not alone.By theEducation and Counseling. Owner if several
time we left the meeting, I felt emotionallywebsites devoted to suicide support and
drained, but that was exactly what I hadeducation. Has published writings in Chicken
needed. A safe place to talk, to vent, toSoup for the Unsinkable Soul, the Journal for
connect. A place where I could find someonethe National Alliance on Mentally Ill,
to walk with me.That's what a support groupSeventeen Magazine and various newspapers.



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