| Not long after Arlyn died, my husband and
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| | be an AA group for those who struggle
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| I decided to attend a support group
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| | with alcohol, an abuse group for those
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| program run by the local Hospice
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| | who have been victimized by abusers, a
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| organization. We felt lost, afraid, and
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| | group for people addicted to gambling, or
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| alone, and we desperately needed to
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| | a grief group for those who are trying to
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| understand the emotional roller coaster
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| | survive the loss of a loved one by
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| we were on.So the night of the first
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| | death.It's a place to go to so you can
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| support meeting, we drove 30 miles to the
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| | connect with others who have almost
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| church where the meeting was held. The
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| | walked in your shoes.Some support groups
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| room we walked into had a single row of
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| | are run by professionals. They generally
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| fold-up chairs arranged in a circle,
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| | have a program to follow, materials to
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| refreshments on a table, and a friendly
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| | take home with information, and they are
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| woman welcomed us.We had arrived early;
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| | led by people with college degrees. They
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| all of the seats were empty. After I
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| | sometimes encourage people to set goals,
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| glanced at my husband, to make sure he
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| | and they sometimes offer therapy.Other
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| had not turned around and walked out, we
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| | support groups are lead by those who have
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| sat down quietly on the seats closest to
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| | no official certification, but whose
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| us and to the door.Shortly after we
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| | experience may teach them more about the
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| arrived, a few other people wandered in
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| | common issue than anything they could
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| and took seats also. We nodded at them
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| | read about in books.I have participated
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| nervously, wondering if their stories
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| | in both types of support groups, and I
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| were like ours, wondering if they had
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| | find value in both. They meet different
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| nightmares as bad as we did.And then, the
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| | needs in different ways.I personally
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| meeting began. The facilitator spoke. She
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| | think the value of peer-lead support
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| welcomed us all, stated that everyone in
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| | groups are greatly undervalued, however.
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| the room had lost a loved one, and asked
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| | When people sit in a circle and share
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| us to introduce ourselves.One by one, the
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| | their stories and hearts with others who
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| people present stated their names and
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| | will not pass judgement on them, others
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| briefly told us about why they were
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| | who truly do know how they feel, a huge
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| there. Some of them shed tears as they
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| | burden is often lifted from their
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| talked.As each one spoke, my mind was
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| | shoulders.Lifting that emotional burden
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| trying to take in a situation outside of
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| | seems to be the key to survival, the key
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| my experience. How could this be? We
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| | to living life again - as opposed to
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| thought we were the only ones in the
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| | being pulled down into deep depression
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| world who were grieving. We were not
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| | and not finding the strength to come back
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| alone, after all!For the next couple
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| | up.The best thing about peer lead support
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| hours, we talked - and listened. We
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| | groups is that they are free! The worst
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| discovered that some of our feelings
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| | thing about them is that there are not
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| matched the feelings of others there.
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| | enough of them around.Quote of the
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| Perhaps we were not abnormal, after
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| | day:When it seems that our sorrow is too
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| all!Best of all, though, when we said
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| | great to be borne, let us think of the
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| Arlyn's name, and when we said the word
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| | great family of the heavy-hearted into
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| suicide, no one blinked an eye! No one
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| | which our grief has given us entrance,
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| got up and walked out, no one replied by
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| | and inevitably, we will feel about us
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| saying, Get over it! She's gone! And no
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| | their arms, their sympathy, their
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| one even hinted that it was our
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| | understanding. - Helen KellerBy Karyl
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| fault.During the meeting, some of us
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| | Chastain BealMission in life before
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| cried. No one tried to stop us. During
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| | Arlyn's death was teaching children. Now,
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| the meeting, some of us talked about
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| | it's teaching those left behind after
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| funerals, and no one squirmed. It was
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| | suicide to survive and live again. It's
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| amazing.We were the only ones in the
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| | also educating the public about suicide
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| group who had come because of the death
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| | and suicide grief.Beal is a certified
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| of a daughter, and we were the only ones
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| | thanatologist via the Association on
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| mourning a suicide death, but even then,
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| | Death Education and Counseling. Owner if
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| the connection we felt with others was
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| | several websites devoted to suicide
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| strong. We were not alone.By the time we
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| | support and education. Has published
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| left the meeting, I felt emotionally
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| | writings in Chicken Soup for the
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| drained, but that was exactly what I had
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| | Unsinkable Soul, the Journal for the
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| needed. A safe place to talk, to vent, to
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| | National Alliance on Mentally Ill,
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| connect. A place where I could find
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| | Seventeen Magazine and various
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| someone to walk with me.That's what a
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| | newspapers.
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| support group is: a safe place. It may
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