Explaining child disorders


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Parenting Angry Children - Seven Easy Ways to Transform From Reactive to Respected Parent

Copyright  (c)  2008  Debra  Sale  Wendlermodeling  self-control.  (And  you  win.)
Children with ADHD (attention deficit4. Refuse to raise your voice. If he's out of
hyperactivity disorder), ODD (oppositionalcontrol, try whispering. If he unnerves you
defiant disorder), bipolar, autism,enough that you raise your voice, he wins
Asperger's syndrome, and PDD-NOS (Pervasiveagain.
Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise
Specified), can be very difficult. If your5. Refuse to beg, bribe, or nag. Or your
child has one of these conditions, he may trychild will think you're weak, and he wins.
to push your buttons so you lose control andPraise him when you catch him being good. And
he wins. The only way out of this gridlock isgive him a chance to win by improving his
to  develop some refusal tactics of your own.behavior.
Adopt these winning tactics that soothe your6. Refuse to hit, spank, or threaten. You
child  and  elevate  your  parenting  style:already know that these methods do not work.
Your child sees your attempt to use these
1. Refuse to argue. Your child's first linemethods  as  weakness  (and  he  wins again).
of defense (and distraction from the real
issue at hand) is to start an argument.You need to motivate your child to improve
Counter his defensive tactic with your calmhis behavior and win your praise and
logic.attention.
For example, if you child doesn't want to doYou can remote control your child's behavior
the dishes, he may say, "I didn't eat any ofwith a token system, also called a behavior
that stupid dinner so I'm not doing thechart.
stupid dishes." You can say, "I hear you.
The chore chart shows clearly that you washThe secret is to find one that is easy to
dinner dishes this week. Please start now."use.  Some  are  too  complicated.
If  you  weaken  and  argue,  he  wins.
7. Refuse to hold grudges or gripe about the
2. Refuse to cater, coddle, or pamper yourpast. It's impossible to change the past, so
child when he is disagreeable. Otherwiseit's unfair for you to harp on it. If you do,
he'll think, "I must be the prince, and youyour child is entitled to have a tantrum.
must be the doormat. Why else would you cater(And  he  wins.)
to me when I treat you lower than the
rattlesnake's  belly?"All you have is the present. What you do
right now builds your future, and your
Your child's second line of defense may be tochild's,  so  make  it  count.
throw  a  tantrum  or  act  out.
You  Can  Solve  This.
This is a control tactic plain and simple.
Your child can control this. Counter hisYour calmer cooler response will be so
defensive tactic by withdrawing yoursurprising that your child will admire and
attention. Calmly clear other children, pets,respect your patience and strength of
and breakables from his tantrum area, andcharacter. Then and only then will he trust
move to another room. Without attention, heyou  enough  to learn from you. You both win.
will  get  bored  quickly  with  his tantrum.
I invite you to use these methods to
3. Refuse to get emotionally overwhelmed. Iftransform quickly from reactive parent to
you get overwhelmed, say "I need five minutessurprisingly calm cool and collected parent
to decide what to do with you." Calm down andworthy of attention and respect.
return in exactly five minutes. That's



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