How We Talk to Children with Autism

I'd like to discuss how we talk to children withknows that being spoken to harshly and punitively
autism. One of the things that strikes me is thecan break a person's heart, spirit and self-esteem
wide range of what is considered acceptable. I'mover time. Our children are no different. They
not talking about teaching methods. Specifically,need to feel loved, accepted and cared for. Cruel
I'm talking about the tone and volume in which weand abusive tones alone can be harmful, even
speak to these children. I know that they're oftenwithout negative words attached. My suggestion is
difficult to reach and may require multiplethat we ask our teachers to speak to our children
attempts to get them to attend or to understandwith kindness and respect. At times when
what is being said to them. I also understand thatfirmness is called for, everyone can still speak
this can be frustrating and confusing at times, butkindly while staying firm. It's all in the choice of
it's everyone's job to stay calm and talk to themtone and language. We want our children to grow
in a reasonable manner. There are many teachersinto their full potential. It can't happen if they're
and therapists in special education that wouldfeeling anxious or depressed or if their
never speak harshly to any child. However, I'veself-esteem has been damaged. We need to lay
heard many speak to children with autism in waysthe foundation first- love, trust, respect,
that no regular education program would tolerate,acceptance and kindness. Then we can build
and it seems that this practice is still widespread.instruction over that foundation, taking care not
My theory is that this habit of loud, cruel voicesto displace it. If you think about it, it's all relatively
has been accepted for so long that no onecommon sense. We all learn and become our best
questions it. It's left over from the days whenin this kind of supportive and accepting
persons with autism were yelled at, slapped andatmosphere. Our children do too.
cattle-prodded to get them to comply. Everyone