| Copyright (c) 2008 Debra Sale Wendler | | | | prepare. This is an effort to control you, plain and |
| If your child has ODD (oppositional defiant | | | | simple. Catering parents answer food complaints |
| disorder) or bipolar, you're familiar with child | | | | by making something the child prefers. The |
| behavior problems. If your child has signs of | | | | ungrateful child wins again. Next time he'll complain |
| autism, ADHD or ADD (attention deficit disorder), | | | | more so that he can win more. Your child's |
| Aspergers, or PDD-NOS (Pervasive | | | | whining and complaining will end when you learn |
| Developmental Disorder - Not Otherwise | | | | how to provide his special needs. |
| Specified), you may be seeing challenging | | | | 4. Argues. Everything is a battle, from when to |
| behaviors. | | | | wake up, to what to wear, and when to go to |
| Five Warning Signs of Challenging Child Behavior: | | | | bed. This day-long string of quarrels and disputes |
| If you suspect that your child's difficult behavior is | | | | is exhausting and quickly erodes your relationship. |
| something more than just being a kid, these are | | | | Your child's arguing proves that he challenges your |
| the warning signs of a full-fledged challenging child. | | | | authority. When he is confident in your authority, |
| 1. Refuses to look up into your eyes. This is one | | | | he will give up some of his need to set his own |
| of the early signs that your parent-child | | | | rules. |
| relationship is in trouble. He refuses to look up into | | | | 5. Is oppositional. You say now; your child says |
| your eyes because that gives you power. He | | | | never. Oppositional children challenge everything, |
| doesn't trust you enough to give you that control. | | | | your requests, your rules, and your schedule. It's |
| To test this, ask your child to sit beside you while | | | | exhausting, and heart breaking, and can cause you |
| you show him something, for example, a book or | | | | to want to escape your child's tyranny. Who can |
| picture. Ask a friend or older child to observe how | | | | blame you? |
| your child looks at you. | | | | If Your Child is Challenging, Listen Up. |
| The solution is to mend your relationship. It is rare | | | | If you're like 99.99% of parents of challenging |
| to find anyone who offers step-by-step advice on | | | | children, you may be making innocent errors all |
| how to do this. The first step is to learn and | | | | day long that actually make your child's behavior |
| respect your child's special needs without getting | | | | worse. Please don't blame yourself. You couldn't |
| emotionally overwhelmed and without catering to | | | | possibly have guessed. So you can forgive |
| his demands. When you learn how to mend your | | | | yourself right now. |
| parent-child relationship, your child will look up into | | | | The five warning signs listed above reveal how |
| your eyes with respect. | | | | ODD (oppositional defiant disorder) develops (65% |
| 2. Refuses to learn from you. Even your simple | | | | of children with ADHD develop it). If your child has |
| efforts to teach him how to hold a fork or comb | | | | ODD, or is developing it, his difficult behavior will |
| his hair are refused. He has decided that you are | | | | get worse unless you take action. |
| not to be trusted, and therefore he cannot learn | | | | Your child needs your specific help to stop these |
| from you. You can test this by asking your child | | | | problem behaviors. He cannot do it on his own. |
| to sit with you as you teach him something, for | | | | You Can Solve This. |
| example, how to draw a tree. If the battles begin, | | | | The good news is that ODD can be easily |
| that's your warning. When you mend your | | | | prevented or minimized. The solution is easier than |
| parent-child relationship, your child will allow you to | | | | you think. If you are seeing the warning signs that |
| teach him. | | | | your child is challenging and not just being a typical |
| 3. Whines and complains. No matter how hard you | | | | kid, I invite you to use these parenting tips to |
| try to please him, he always finds something to | | | | improve his behavior and improve your family life. |
| complain about, for example, the food you | | | | |