| If you are a father of a special needs child and | | | | regional or international. Just try and communicate. |
| reading this article, hooray! I am so happy that | | | | It creates a good bond and your child trust you |
| you are involved in your child's life! I really want to | | | | more and can confide in you. |
| congratulate and encourage you. If you are a | | | | Parents need to help foster friendships with other |
| mother reading this article, and you will like your | | | | kids. The kids with disabilities have a harder time; |
| husband or spouse to become more involved with | | | | they don't live as close to their class mates and |
| sharing in the responsibility and joys of raising | | | | friends. Most likely they live in one town and goes |
| your special needs child, please share this | | | | to school in another town. For example, Larry |
| information with him! | | | | lived in Marlboro and went to school in |
| I want to encourage both parents to stay | | | | Framingham. All his friends were from school, so |
| involved and really understand that you have a | | | | he had no friends in our neighborhood. His friends |
| specific role in your child's education and life. It is | | | | lived across town or in adjoining towns. So I think |
| sad but true that about 80% of the families with | | | | it's up to you as parents to arrange play times |
| children with significant special needs get divorced. | | | | etc. You can take turns with other parents for |
| This makes it very difficult for the children as well | | | | arranging activities. |
| as the families. I know there is a lot of stress and | | | | You can tell them they're doing a good job. |
| extra efforts, with having a special needs child, | | | | Complement them when they do a good job. |
| but the need to work together for the child is | | | | Also, let them know of areas for improvement. |
| critical. If you have the strength and the | | | | This really goes a long way because your children |
| resources, do whatever it takes to stay together | | | | look up to you. And the more you are involved |
| or get together, put your differences aside and | | | | they just blossom. So the parents' involvement is |
| support your child, your child will benefit | | | | so important. |
| tremendously from having both parents, fathers | | | | This is a special call to fathers. I want to |
| and mothers, involved. Don't get divorced, that is | | | | encourage you to share the responsibilities of |
| the best. And in the end, you as parents will reap | | | | supporting you child. It's not just getting your son |
| the benefits. | | | | or daughter to a soccer game on Saturday or |
| What can parents do? Parents need to be there | | | | Sunday. It's the practices, the homework, the |
| to support their kids. In my opinion when you get | | | | preparation, and a lot of "atta boys and atta girls". |
| that news it is a shocker. But you have to get | | | | Let them see that you really enjoy being with |
| over the news and set your priorities. Your child's | | | | them. |
| future and education takes highest priority. The | | | | You may be thinking, why should we do this? I |
| way I look at it is that's the cards that life dealt | | | | want to tell you that you will get the rewards |
| you, and you have to work with it. Do not look at | | | | from being involved. So I want to encourage you |
| it as an extra burden. However, look at it as your | | | | and give you hope. If both parents, fathers and |
| life experience and do what needs to be done so | | | | mothers, are involved most likely your child is |
| that your child receives the best. | | | | going to become more confident, have higher |
| For example: you can carry over the lessons of | | | | self-esteem, do better at school work, perform |
| the day, by reviewing the work your child did in | | | | better at and enjoy extracurricular activities |
| school. Discuss and see what questions they have | | | | more, be more adjusted, and have a better |
| and see what you can do to add to their learning. | | | | future. |
| This is very important because you help the child | | | | The more time and efforts you put in now, your |
| and yourself. Larry for example, was extremely | | | | child will become more independent as a teenager |
| good in science and math. He just picked up the | | | | and an adult. And the more independent your |
| math. But he had challenges with reading, because | | | | special needs child become, it will be easier for |
| English was a second language and American Sign | | | | you to let go. Just yesterday a parent was asking |
| Language (ASL) was his first language. So when | | | | me, how they can go on vacation by themselves |
| you are involved you see where your child needs | | | | without their deaf child. It starts from day one. |
| the extra help. And you can always work that | | | | You have to encourage independence and support |
| into the Individual Education Plan (IEP) with the | | | | your child. As parents of special needs children we |
| Special Needs Department and the school. | | | | shoulder the responsibility of their care and this |
| You want to make it a rule of thumb to help | | | | play a major role in our plans, for example, where |
| your child with their homework. I know we did | | | | we live and work etc. The more independent |
| this with Larry and Charisma. At one point Larry | | | | your child becomes, your responsibility becomes |
| said "I am independent and I can do this on my | | | | less. Think about this, it means you worry less! |
| own. If I need help I will come to you." He drew | | | | This is a really big reward! |
| the line and said "you do not have to sit with me | | | | So I want to encourage both, fathers and |
| every evening." That was really good to see him | | | | mothers, to team up to ensure that your child |
| reach that stage in his development. | | | | become the best he or she can be. You both can |
| You can help your child with the big picture. And | | | | share the responsibilities to support your child. |
| what I mean by that is have conversations with | | | | Think about the brilliant, out of the box ideas both |
| them. It does not have to be structured | | | | of you can think about when you put your heads |
| conversations, can be around the house or in the | | | | together. I have found that once you make it a |
| yard. Talk about the importance of school and | | | | priority you get the energy to do it. I am not |
| give examples of successful people to your kids, | | | | saying it is easy. Yes, it is a lot more effort, but if |
| the importance of teachers and their peers. For | | | | you both make it a priority and share the |
| me my mom did that with me all the time and | | | | responsibility, it is doable! |
| that got ingrained in me. I always had mentors or | | | | Parents it is all about mindset. Look at the |
| people I wanted to emulate. Talk about the | | | | situation as a joy, this is my child and I will do the |
| importance of family, church, if you attend | | | | best. The rewards are unimaginable just listen to |
| church, and current events. It can be local, | | | | our family story. |