| It is only normal and natural to feel a certain | | | | entirely. |
| sense of loss when your child is diagnosed with an | | | | The only person your child or loved one can rely |
| Autistic Spectrum Condition or a diagnosis of any | | | | on is YOU. You have to make yourself stronger |
| kind that puts the child in a Special Needs | | | | both mentally and physically. Be prepared to be |
| category. It could be Autistic Spectrum Disorder, | | | | strong so that you are prepared psychologically |
| Asperger's, Pervasive Development Disorder, | | | | and physically for the challenges. These are |
| ADHD, Tourette's, or any other mental disabillity | | | | challenges and not problems that will inevitably lie |
| and any other mental and physical disabilities. | | | | ahead of you and your life. I am not going to say |
| Knowing that your child or loved one that you | | | | that there won't be challenges, there will be to |
| once dreamt of is not the ideal and flawless child | | | | varying degrees of challenges, depending on the |
| and the dream is shattered is very heartbreaking | | | | child and how you are handling it. Even with a |
| and emotionally upsetting. It can even break a | | | | normal typical child, there will be challenges but to |
| relationship. It may perhaps damage a perfectly | | | | a different extent. |
| normal relationship to cause an immense | | | | Bereave, cry, seek help, therapy and anything |
| psychological strain on a relationship. | | | | you can to overcome this grief. You will ultimately |
| It undoubtedly puts a huge strain on a family, the | | | | overcome this grief, it might take a few weeks, |
| family members including siblings and especially the | | | | months, years but you will triumph over this. |
| main carer. Psychotherapy or any counselling | | | | Believe in yourself and your child and you'll |
| should be sought to help you with this side of | | | | overcome this shock of your child's diagnosis and |
| your relationship. Talking through the strain can | | | | feeling of being deprived of a normal child you |
| only help you, your child and your relationship with | | | | thought you had. |
| your partner. Having someone to support each | | | | Start focusing on your life and your child in your |
| other can only strengthen the relationship and | | | | life. Take one day as it comes and don't look too |
| serve to help your child. | | | | much in the future as to what will happen or what |
| Overcoming the hurdle of the initial diagnosis, is by | | | | won't happen. Think about what might happen |
| no means an easy one and you must overcome | | | | when you are in your child's life supporting and |
| this obstacle and difficulty, by thinking foremost | | | | helping them. Think of helping the child every day |
| of your child's needs and the fact that your child | | | | and in every way in their special life, with their |
| needs you to help them. Always try to get the | | | | special needs, that only you being the carer or |
| help that they need for them and for you. | | | | parent will take care of personally. You will look |
| Your child or loved one is and always be (whether | | | | for seeking further help for them and on their |
| on a large or small scale) a special needs child who | | | | behalf. |
| is special and needs special care. Don't as a parent | | | | I recommend seeking and attending support |
| or carer think of it as a disability (which it clearly | | | | groups as soon as you feel ready after the |
| is). However, you must think of it in a way that | | | | diagnosis and get involved. Meeting other parents |
| your child is indeed"special" in the most unique | | | | in similar circumstances, seeking guidance and |
| way possible and your child ultimately "needs" you, | | | | support, try to seek therapy for your family and |
| in your own eyes. Therefore, you cannot and | | | | or child, attending courses on how to deal with |
| should never let your child down. Although, there | | | | the challenging behaviors, etc. This can all help. |
| are days where this may not be possible, we are | | | | Read as many books and learn strategies to |
| human after all and we can break down at times. | | | | handle behavioral problems, learn from Autism |
| Believe me this has happened to me a number of | | | | forums, the internet on what to do and find |
| times. If you have a male partner, you'll find that | | | | support groups local to where you are. In the UK, |
| it is much harder for them, at least the majority | | | | we have NAS - National Autistic Society and in |
| of mothers learn to control their feelings in front | | | | the USA there are far more Autistic |
| of the child most of the time. Learn to go through | | | | Organizations. Take it from me, I have |
| these feelings, don't dwell on it, pick yourself back | | | | experienced all of this and I conquered it. If I can |
| up and help your child or loved one. Never give up | | | | overcome and conquer this, so can you. |