| Divorce is hard enough on everyone involved, but | | | | about the "social" consequences - removal from |
| when one or more of your kids is identified as | | | | the mainstream, stuck forever in Special Ed, |
| needing Special Education services, it becomes an | | | | interacting in a much less functional "peer group." |
| immediate "all hands on deck" situation - which | | | | For others it's simply the undeniable "lowering" of |
| means a lot of the "adversarial" nonsense | | | | expectations and standards. |
| between battling ex's should stop dead in its | | | | The point boils down to both you and your ex |
| tracks. | | | | needing to know - and to understand - what |
| Maybe you already knew your kid has problems, | | | | problem, disability, or behavior has been officially |
| without professionals telling you, and those | | | | identified as requiring Special Ed services. |
| problems were even part and parcel of the many | | | | What the professionals describe should mostly |
| disagreements and conflict leading up to the | | | | square with your own basic experience of your |
| separation, but still, that call from the school can | | | | child, and don't be embarrassed to ask questions |
| be a real blow. | | | | until you understand what's being proposed to |
| However it got started, a strong "connection" to | | | | address what kind of problem. Both parents |
| your child's school and solid, ongoing | | | | should be crystal clear about what their piece of |
| communication between both parents and the | | | | the IEP (Individualized Education Program) that all |
| particular people at school - teachers, ed techs, | | | | "team" members, including parents, sign is. An IEP |
| specialists, consultants -working directly every day | | | | can be disputed, questioned, re-visited, revised - |
| with your kid is crucial. It may seem obvious, but | | | | but it officially "drives" the process. |
| it's beyond belief how often that ball gets dropped | | | | Of course, most of what's being said here also |
| - even by the parent with primary custody. It | | | | applies to parenting kids not identified as having |
| may be hard for you to overcome your own | | | | special needs, but there's less margin for error |
| embarrassment or hostility - but tell them you | | | | with this population. It's a huge deal to pull a kid |
| absolutely want emails and phone calls. Please. | | | | out of the regular classroom. |
| The growing concern many parents have with | | | | No matter what else is going on, both ex's need |
| Special Education is that it's not just for the | | | | to rise above the current conflict and be on the |
| obvious, major challenges - severe physical | | | | same "parenting" page when it comes to basic |
| handicaps, profound mental retardation, extreme | | | | cooperation, consistent communication, and follow |
| developmental delay, autism, and so on. | | | | through. |
| Increasingly it's becoming a place to put kids | | | | If there's an honest disagreement - which is fine - |
| whose behavior can't be successfully managed in | | | | each parent should know, and be able to give a |
| the "regular" classroom and, these days, there's | | | | fair description of, the other's view. No excuses. |
| are a lot of that - as well as very good reasons | | | | Anything less is doomed, and actually is a form of |
| to be concerned about it. | | | | parent negligence and child abandonment. |
| You may worry about your child being labeled and | | | | Please don't let it happen. Ask for help if you need |
| medicated. Or you might have grave concerns | | | | it. It's win, win, win. |