| Do you ever have trouble making conversation | | | | 4.) In some cases, people who are smarter than |
| with others even though you consider yourself to | | | | average actually feel superior to others and |
| be a very intelligent person? | | | | believe they should not have to waste their time |
| If so, this may puzzle you. You may wonder why | | | | with average people having average |
| you are so poor at making conversation with | | | | conversations. They may really truly be snobs at |
| others, even though you are very smart, and | | | | heart. |
| you know a lot of interesting things. | | | | 5.) Many very intelligent people suffer from |
| The truth is that social skills and intelligence don't | | | | extreme shyness or from poor self esteem. This |
| necessarily go together. | | | | may cause them to feel that they have nothing |
| In fact, many people with average intelligence and | | | | interesting or worthwhile to contribute to a |
| average interests are much better at making | | | | conversation. High intelligence and high self esteem |
| small talk and have better social skills than people | | | | do not necessarily go together. |
| who are extremely intelligent. | | | | 6. ) Some very intelligent people, particularly those |
| And many people who are very intelligent are | | | | who are strong in scientific and mathematical skills |
| extremely poor at making small talk conversation | | | | may have a condition called Asperger's syndrome. |
| and may have poor social skills. | | | | This condition which is believed to be related to |
| Why should this be? | | | | autism, shows itself in many different ways. |
| Here are some of the reasons why very | | | | Often, the person who has some degree of |
| intelligent, very creative people often have | | | | Asperger's is extremely good at focusing on a |
| difficulty in making small talk conversation | | | | scientific topic, but is unable to understand the |
| successfully: | | | | kinds of social interactions that most other people |
| 1.) They may be perfectionists. These people | | | | take for granted. People with Asperger's may talk |
| may have very high expectations of themselves | | | | in a rigid, mechanical way, and be uninterested in |
| about everything they do. When they think they | | | | other people's emotional lives. |
| have failed at anything, they judge themselves | | | | Intellectual brilliance is only one aspect of a human |
| very harshly. | | | | being. No matter how intelligent a person is, a lack |
| If they think they are failing at small talk, they | | | | of social skills can hold them back in their social life |
| just get even more nervous and tongue tied. | | | | and their career. |
| Their harsh self judgment makes them so | | | | So if you are one of those people who is quite |
| anxious that they cannot relax and simply enjoy | | | | smart, but has problems with social skills and with |
| being with other people. | | | | making small talk, what should you do? |
| 2.) People who are very smart may have spent | | | | First, you must ask yourself whether improving |
| most of their life trying to become very | | | | your social skills is something that you really want |
| intellectually developed, but sometimes they | | | | to do. |
| neglect to develop their social and emotional side. | | | | If the answer is truly no, then you don't need to |
| They may believe that developing their social and | | | | work on trying to improve this particular talent. |
| emotional side is not very important, or they may | | | | However, if the answer is yes, the good news is |
| feel that it is too late to try learn these new | | | | that you really can improve your conversational |
| difficult skills. | | | | skills and your ability to enjoy small talk, and have |
| 3.) They may be very serious people and believe | | | | enjoyable social relationships with others. |
| that they should only spend their time thinking | | | | You will have to commit yourself to practicing |
| about serious matters and talking about serious | | | | new skills and new attitudes towards yourself and |
| matters. They may believe that talking about | | | | others. But with practice and commitment, you |
| unimportant things is a waste of time. This makes | | | | will be able to be much more successful in these |
| them get bored very quickly with small talk that | | | | areas of your life. |
| doesn't seem to lead anywhere. | | | | |