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Helping the whole family cope with mental illness

Parents, siblings and spouses dealing 4. Develop boundaries around the person's
wtih a family member's mental illness illness. Decide what is appropriate
face unique challenges. Here are my top 5 "helping" and what is classified as
ways to keep the family involved and someone elses's misplaced needs and
moving forward. "enabling". It is very easy to fall into
Throughout my childhood my brother Tom the trap of thinking the person cannot do
took up much of the family energy due to things for him/herself, when often this
his mental illness. It wasn't his fault is not the case.
or ours, it just happens that way in 5. Pay attention to your own wellness.
families. As I think back on how my It's not at all unusual to become burnt
parents dealt with the challenges, there out, and to start isolating yourself
are things I think they could have done personally and as a family. Take extra
better. Hindsight is 20/20, I know, and good care of yourself. Spend time with
they did the best they could. But it's a friends, go to a museum and get inspired
very tough situation and every one of us by great art, plant a flower, do things
who has lived with it can offer you enjoy. Even if it feels like a
suggestions to other families in crisis, struggle at first, do it -- because in
which may spare them some pain. Here are the long run your health and sanity needs
mine. Here are 5 ways to improve the to be replenished so you can give to the
family situation when a member has mental rest of the family.
dis-ease. One word of caution here about the idea
1. Educate everyone about the illness. of "wellness" or taking care of your
Knowledge is power so get books, talk to "self". You may feel that taking good
doctors, seek out support groups (see our care of your "self" when the family
resource section for ideas) and gather member suffers from mental illness is
all the facts you can. You will each have just, well, plain ol' "selfish". But the
different reactions to the situation, but fact is that being able to stay well
at least you'll share concrete enhances you're abiliity to deal with
information. your new family situation. In addition,
2. Establish a support team of caring for your "self" means your will
professionals. It's not just the family have more patience and energy when they
member with mental illness that needs need you . In the end, families face many
professional support. Anyone in the challenges if mental illness is in the
family and the family as a whole may need mix. Be proactive, realize this is
assistance with emotions, coping, manageable, and keep others involved in
communications, and cooperation. the process. Living your life as a family
3. Talk with family members about the may have changed due to the mental
issues. Have family meetings to discuss illness but that doesn't mean you are not
feelings and problems each person is still a "family". Be creative and find
having. Share possible strategies for other ways to do family things that make
addressing problems. Allow each person to sense under the changing dynamics.
express their concerns openly and Nothing is perfect but your response to
honestly. Even though the family unit has the challenge and your ability to model
changed due to the illness, be creative proactive behaviors for other family
and continue to stay connected as a members will assist them in moving
family even if it "feels different". forward.




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