| You're prepared, polished, and ready to go. You | | | | Are you following a script that just isn't working? |
| step up to the podium and "bang, bang, bang" - | | | | Is your presentation boring? Are you being |
| you get shot down by a hostile audience. How do | | | | speaker-centered instead of focusing on the |
| you keep your cool and take back control?When I | | | | listener's needs and interests? Are you reacting to |
| started out as a consultant, I remember landing | | | | a difficult person instead of responding to the |
| my first large account. My assignment was to | | | | situation?Set it Up Many problems can be avoided |
| design and deliver writing and presentation skills | | | | by establishing expectations from the beginning. |
| seminars for 30 MBA trainees. Finally, the big day | | | | When people are unclear about their goals, roles, |
| came when I was ready to deliver the training. | | | | and how they're being evaluated, difficult behavior |
| There was just one slight glitch. Management | | | | can result. Once expectations are clear, provide |
| scheduled the first major technical exam the day | | | | ongoing feedback and really listen to what people |
| after my training seminar. Naturally, the MBAs | | | | are saying. If a person does not feel heard or |
| thought they would have the day before to study | | | | respected, he or she will manifest resistant |
| and prepare for the exam. To make things | | | | behavior.Cast of Characters |
| worse, they told them that I would be providing | | | | Who is the personality that can really push your |
| only a one hour coaching session. In reality we | | | | buttons? Is it the know-it-all or the whining |
| were scheduled for a full day. The trainees | | | | complainer who finds fault with everything? To |
| stormed into the manager's office and threatened | | | | stay cool and in control, begin by recognizing |
| to boycott the class.At four o'clock that day, their | | | | which type of person will set you off. By |
| manager called me and said, "Diane, I wouldn't | | | | pinpointing such individuals, you will strengthen your |
| want to be in your shoes tomorrow." I ran to the | | | | ability to handle them.Here are a few difficult |
| human resource manager who hired me and tried | | | | personalities and how to handle them: Eager |
| to convince her to reschedule the class. She | | | | Beaver - This person is always the first to |
| wouldn't budge.I didn't sleep that night while I | | | | participate and is eager to help, making it difficult |
| racked my brain trying to think of a solution. If I | | | | for others to respond. Don't dampen this |
| called in sick, I would lose the account. But I didn't | | | | individual's enthusiasm. Acknowledge his/her |
| want to walk into a lion's den. It was this | | | | contributions and suggest that others |
| conundrum that spurred me on to develop my | | | | participate.Expert - Challenges your authority; |
| 3D strategy for managing difficult | | | | argues with others. This may truly be a person |
| behavior.Practice the 3D Strategy:Depersonalize, | | | | with expertise who wants recognition. |
| Detach, and Defuse Whether you're managing a | | | | Acknowledge comments without getting |
| team, running a meeting, or giving a formal | | | | defensive. (Remember, depersonalize, detach, |
| presentation, it's not enough to know your | | | | defuse.) Ask the group for other opinions. One of |
| material. You must be able to manage the | | | | the best strategies is to play to his or her |
| process. Group dynamics are ever changing and | | | | expertise. Invite and recognize the expert's |
| dealing with groups can be sticky. That's why a | | | | comments. Soon you will have an ally instead of |
| good leader or facilitator is able to change | | | | an enemy.Rambler - This is a storyteller. You ask |
| perspective and use a number of strategies.Step | | | | for the time, you get the history of watch |
| one is to depersonalize. People come with their | | | | making. To manage the rambler, cut in, |
| own emotional baggage. One woman walked out | | | | summarize the comments, and ask for other |
| of a motivational speech because the speaker | | | | opinions. Don't let this individual drone on. Poor |
| was wearing an Elvis costume and she did not like | | | | Loser - These people will not admit to a mistake. |
| Elvis. Her departure had nothing to do with the | | | | They don't have the ego strength to |
| speaker's talent or competence. The lesson? If | | | | acknowledge an error. Do not back them into a |
| you are met with a hostile audience or an | | | | corner. Instead, agree to disagree. Let them save |
| audience with a few disinterested members: Don't | | | | face.Dominator - Wants to control. He/she can |
| take it personally.Step two is to detach. That | | | | intimidate the group by monopolizing the |
| means that you don't engage the ego. Once you | | | | conversation or activity. Don't let dominators take |
| go head-to-head with that heckler, you set up a | | | | over. Use humor. For example, when asking for a |
| competitive dynamic. Don't let your emotions get | | | | response, you can jokingly say something such as: |
| out of control. Ask questions to gain | | | | "Someone other than Jerry!" If that doesn't work, |
| understanding. Do not get defensive.Step three is | | | | call a break and speak to that person |
| to defuse. Dissipate the negative energy. One of | | | | privately.Side Conversations - Two or more |
| the best defusers is humor. If you get tense, the | | | | people engage in regular conversations during your |
| negative energy will increase. Take a light, playful | | | | presentation. If it is a large auditorium, ignore it. In |
| approach. You can't laugh and be angry at the | | | | smaller groups, this behavior can be distracting. |
| same time.Managing ResistanceTo get a handle on | | | | Make eye contact with the talkers and stop |
| a difficult audience, begin to recognize the signs of | | | | speaking until they look up. You can confront |
| resistance. Are attendees side-talking, reading the | | | | them directly and ask them to hold their |
| paper, challenging you, having difficulty | | | | conversation until later. Or try the walk technique. |
| understanding directions, or sitting with closed | | | | Walk toward them, stand in front of them and |
| body language? If you have ever felt like you | | | | keep talking. They will get the message.Negative - |
| were working too hard to get a response, | | | | Very resistant and negative about you, the |
| chances are you were dealing with resistance. | | | | subject matter, and doesn't want to be there. |
| Once you recognize resistance, figure out where | | | | Begin to acknowledge his or her concerns. Ask |
| it is coming from.Reasons for resistance fall into | | | | the group to problem solve or offer to discuss |
| three categories:How to | | | | the concerns later. Complainer/Whiner - Finds fault |
| Chance to | | | | with everything. Likes to whine but has no |
| Want toIs the reason for resistance that they | | | | solutions. He or she is not necessarily negative |
| don't know how to participate? If so, then provide | | | | about the subject matter, but likes to complain. |
| clearer instructions for how you expect them to | | | | This is the "Yes, but. . ." person. Don't get caught |
| participate. Is it that they don't have a chance to | | | | in their game. Instead, ask the audience for |
| be productively involved? For example, let's say | | | | alternatives. Stay focused and move on.Hecklers - |
| you asked participants to turn to a partner to | | | | Try to ignore them. If the heckler gets no |
| discuss the point you just made and some people | | | | response from you, he/she may give up. A |
| don't respond. Maybe they couldn't find a partner. | | | | clever retort will only challenge the heckler to |
| Help them partner-up. By way of another | | | | come back at you again. Walk over to this person |
| example, think of a team in which all but two | | | | and put your hand on his/her shoulder as you |
| members are actively participating in a | | | | keep talking to the group. Don't show any hostility |
| brainstorming exercise. It could be that the two | | | | or use any put-downs. Another technique is to |
| quiet members are introverts in a group of | | | | ask the person to identify himself - most hecklers |
| extroverts. They may not be able to jump in and | | | | prefer anonymity.When dealing with difficult |
| be heard. When this is the case, provide an | | | | audiences, remember that the disruptive behavior |
| opportunity.The last reason for resistance is a lack | | | | is a symptom of an unmet need. Your best |
| of motivation. You ask for a volunteer and | | | | strategy is a sense of humor and an |
| nobody moves. Perhaps they don't see the | | | | understanding of what's driving the behavior. The |
| benefit. Maybe they have too much on their | | | | next time you encounter a difficult audience, take |
| plates and can't take on any more assignments. | | | | a 3D view - depersonalize, detach, and |
| Perhaps they don't want to intrude on their | | | | defuse.Excerpt from Knockout Presentations |
| colleague's territory. Your job is to help them see | | | | (Chandler House Press).Diane DiResta, President of |
| the value of participating.To break resistance, use | | | | DiResta Communications, Inc, a New York City |
| a pattern interrupt. In other words, do something | | | | communication skills consultancy,works with |
| different. Shake them up. Pick up the pace. Tell a | | | | organizations who want to communicate with |
| story. Get your audience involved. Children at play | | | | greater impact. She is the author of the best |
| are not resistant. Are you doing anything that is | | | | selling public speaking book, Knockout |
| contributing to their resistance? Are you too rigid? | | | | Presentations. |