| Many parents use the same type of
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| | are forced to spend timeouts alone. These
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| discipline for every problem situation.
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| | children can cool off in the same room as
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| One tool, however, is rarely effective
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| | other people, as long as they aren't
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| for all situations. Plus, overusing one
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| | disruptive.
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| particular tool also reduces its
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| | Some parents hesitate to use a child's
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| usefulness. Timeout is just one tool --
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| | room for fear the child will view the
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| and it really isn't a "discipline" tool;
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| | bedroom as a prison. If the timeout is
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| it's an effective anger-management tool.
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| | initiated kindly and the goal is to give
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| Since the purpose of a timeout is to help
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| | the child and you some quiet space,
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| someone regain control, it is most
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| | children won't see it as punishment. If
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| appropriate to use when someone has lost
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| | you feel the child will be destructive,
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| self-control or there is extremely
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| | plan ahead and remove or put objects you
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| disruptive behavior.
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| | don't want destroyed out of reach.
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| Most adults have the mistaken idea that
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| | If you force a child to stay in a chair
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| the whole point of sending children to
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| | or room, it shifts the focus from what
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| timeout is to make the child suffer for
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| | they did and their responsibility for
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| their misbehavior. "You go to your room
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| | calming down to who is in power. This
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| (or chair) and think about what you did."
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| | turns the timeout into a punishment,
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| The tone of voice usually implies, "and
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| | which removes its effectiveness.
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| you suffer." Imposing suffering only
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| | Present time-outs as a choice. A child
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| brings on more resentment and power
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| | can choose to settle down or take some
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| struggles. Effective discipline, however,
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| | time out. Suggest the timeout in a kind
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| teaches children lessons from their poor
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| | and firm manner, followed by the
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| behavior choices, rather than punishing
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| | encouraging instructions to come back
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| them. If you want timeouts to be
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| | when the child is ready.
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| constructive, try following these
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| | Avoid timers. Use the child's ability to
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| guidelines:
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| | regain self-control or willingness to act
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| Develop a plan in advance. Teach children
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| | appropriately to decide how long a
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| during a happy time about the value of a
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| | timeout should last. Timers often turn
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| cooling-off period. Say, "When you feel
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| | timeouts into power struggles. If
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| like you're going to lose control, you
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| | children have calmed down and are ready
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| can go (specify the place) and do
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| | to return but parents won't let them
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| something to make yourself feel better.
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| | "come out," it often escalates the
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| Then, when you feel better, come out and
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| | situation. If children return before they
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| we can work on a solution."
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| | have calmed down, firmly but kindly
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| Teach children how to regain
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| | return them to the timeout and
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| self-control. Suggest things the child
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| | reemphasize the purpose is to cool off.
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| can do to calm down while in timeout.
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| | Describe the behavior you want to see
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| Older children can help decide where to
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| | that shows they are calm.
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| go and what they can do to help
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| | When a timeout is over: If the child lost
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| themselves calm down.
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| | control due to anger, let it go and don't
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| Allow the child to play. Many parents are
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| | call attention to the behavior you want
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| upset when they find their child playing
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| | to stop. If the problem is serious or
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| during timeout, but it's actually a good
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| | recurring, wait until both of you have
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| sign that the child has regained
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| | calmed down and then use problem solving
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| self-control. If they are ready to play,
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| | to generate ideas for handling the
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| children might also be ready to do some
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| | situation differently in the future.
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| problem solving.
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| | Think about your long-term goal. If you
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| Select a location for the time-out. Some
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| | want children to learn that it is their
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| children calm down faster when they are
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| | responsibility to control their behavior,
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| alone and in a quiet place. Other
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| | use timeouts as cooling off periods which
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| children have too much energy to be
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| | teach children how to achieve this
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| forced to sit still. Some children become
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| | self-control.
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| more out-of-control and hurtful when they
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